lol you guys are killing me. "get it when you can" I believe in...probably didn't have to mention that, since kid #6 is almost here. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

Wehwh guys... hahah cmon now!! I'm glad we're all cool here and all, but thats some stuff I don't wanna know about!!

Been watchin' this one...

Having been through the big split 11 years ago, which ended an 18 year marriage (no kids), I can agree on the pain, and the advice on the real need to get out of the self-pity trap!

This "ex-sex" thing always confuses me...
When I out of "hell", there was absolutely no way I was going back for "candy". The very thought was repulsive. It was over on every level.

Bluntly, if you can still happily boink, (especially for a woman), then the relationship can't be over. But it definately needs work at some superficial level.

Having the 2 daughters and wanting to be involved with them makes you the best option for "Dad", which I'm sure their mother recognizes.

So if you're still there as Dad, and still there in the sack, it sounds like the deeper needs are being accepted between the 2 of you, and it's only on the surface that your issues of incompatibilty occur.

You 2 sound like prime candidates for benefitting from outside professional counsel. This co-dependancy thing can be beat.

And as felt (again)the cost of selfishness, will it change you?
One day at a time.

Kid #6?! Dude... <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/scared.gif" alt="" />

There's a reason why I only have 1. I promise you it's not because I don't want to hit it... <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

ANY time, ANY place, NEVER enough. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/shiner.gif" alt="" />

Sex or no sex, there was a moment tonight that was true, loving and honest. Because we agreed to be lovers, it seems to have opened up the communication lines. We laughed and smiled and enjoyed each other's company. Kind of like it was 7 years ago. Weird huh?

A return to innocence (and lack of drama) can be uplifting. Whatever you're doing now, dude, it seems to be reviving something. I truly hope it all works out for you!

And your going back to japan... <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif" alt="" />

ALL or NOTHING. Don't let her run your life! Sounds to me like you need to pull the <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/baby.gif" alt="" /> out of your mouth and be a man! This is NOT going to last!

I'm not sure what he meant by that, but being a man means NOT leaving your wife and daughters while you've still got a chance to keep them. You've already owned up to your "stupidity" (your word), so go fix it. Sometimes being a man means laying down your pride, your happiness, and sometimes even your Montero to keep her happy.

You're in the military. . . you know what it means to make personal sacrifice for a greater good. In this case, your family, your wife's happiness, and keeping your children's parents together is the greater good.

My prayers are with you, your wife, and your daughters.

I was in her situation. I only wanted him, and he was never there. I put up with being alone emotionaly for 20 years and finally gave up. When we were seperated, he brought roses, perfume, and a beautiful silk scarf to my work place. I felt it cheapened our relationship even more. It was like he was trying to buy me. I swept the gifts off the counter and walked away for good! Most of us are really not after tangible goods. We want the love in your heart and just to feel your arms around us or a special look accross the room. The secret little things our hearts share. Your pain will lessen with time, but maybe just a little of that pain kept alive may help you from repeating your actions in any future relationship. So sorry this is happening this time of year. Mine was the same it literally can be hell on earth. Love yourself and try to remember you must be a good person or she would not have married you or had your children.

Beledi