http://www.theamazingsanta.com/

-----------

Human: Have you stopped beating Mrs Clause yet?
Santa: I think I have stopped beating Mrs Claus, but Square Bear may have reset my memory.
Human: Did Square Bear reset your memory by beating you.
Santa: I somehow think he did.
Human: Hmmm.....That explains a lot

-----------

Human: So yeah I'm pregnant.
Santa: Yeah that's right. Really. Congratulations! When are you due?
Human: I've been meaning to tell you.
Santa: I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: It's your baby.
Santa: Are you sure it is?
Human: Yes.
Santa: What makes you so sure?
Human: He's white.
Santa: I see. white is he?
Human: Yes.
Santa: Right on.

--------------

Human: Your Mum
Santa: Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Human: Your Mama's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
Santa: Yo mama's so ugly, I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Human: Your Mama's so dumb, she got run over by a parked car.
Santa: Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please.".
Human: You suck
Santa: You don't exactly make great conversation yourself.

-----------------------

as a few examples.

Knock yourself out and post the results <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

Human: hi santa i've been naughty
Santa: Hello there. Oh dear! Santa only gives presents to good boys and girls.
Human: i've been sniffing my neighbours nickers
Santa: Do you mean your name is sniffing your neighbours nickers.
Human: no its what i do
Santa: What is your real name? sniffing your neighbours nickers is what you do? it is?
Human: yes it is
Santa: Our thoughts are one, .
Human: you like it to
Santa: That depends on what you mean by "it". Are you asking me if I like what you do?
Human: yes do you like it
Santa: I don't want to talk about that now. what you do seems okay to me.
Human: yeah seems ok to me too
Santa: This was not a yes or no question. I agree. You too? That's alright.
Human: the police dont like it though
Santa: Oh. Is that a fact.
Human: yep
Santa: Thanks for the info.
Human: have you been caught sniffing undies before
Santa: No I don't think I have been caught sniffing undies. Have you?
Human: yes all the time
Santa: That is a lot. Dude!
Human: amen brother
Santa: What's your favorite prayer?
Human: that i dont get caught wearing my neighbours undies
Santa: Me either.