She is a single mom has two boys. The older brother is a good kid the 15 year old is a the problem. Bottom line he is failing in school and smoking weed. Has a serious case of "i'm better than everyone". Smart enough to fool counselors and metal health professionals. He thinks he can fool the world and for the most part has. It's gotten to the point both the older brother and mom are afraid of him, he 5-10 180lbs. Mom is 4-11

The kid won't listen, does whatever he wants, comes and goes as he pleases even if grounded. Like most moms she loves her kid even though he is a bad apple. She is looking for options other than kicking him into the state system.


Anyone have any experience with bad teenagers? That crap would never fly in my house but what options does a single mom have? Are there any "lockdown" private facilities or is that only a state option?

Except for the weed, he sounds like me at that age.... only I was taller, leaner and probably meaner.

Here's where I learned some things about life, and while it's not a complete lockdown, it's close:

Camden Military Academy

There are plenty of other military schools, but the common thread among them is teaching boys to become honorable, responsible young men. In my case, after being kicked out of 9th grade twice in one week for smoking, my father deposited me at CMA the next day - and there I remained until graduation..... lettered in 3 sports in one year, most valuable overall athlete, honor society, 3rd in class, etc.

It changed - and maybe saved - my life.

Frank

My mom would of had know problem busting up the house in a fight when I was 15 (and did).. I'll never forget her working my brother over with a lawn chair he was 18 ...I was younger keep me in line ... Parents are to nice these days ... Mom was 5.0 ... I'm 6.4 and thin brothers 6.2 and a moose...

She better "up ended" him right now ... Or shes going to have to deal with him a bum at 30 ....

She should get a boyfriend who will bash his face in if he gets cocky... Ex marine is a + <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

There is a lot to be said for the tough love route.

Out of 4 (my 2 plus 2 step kids), the 2 boys were not a problem. One figured out real early that money was a necessity for a good life while the other was content with video games and computer. Both are very successful.

The girls were a big problem but have since found their way and are successful in careers.

The only advice I can offer is to encourage the single mom to find something that interests the boy and get his attention focused on that activity.

The absence of a father figure is a factor that should be considered.

My $.02... Tough love. Call the cops on his weed usage. Then get him in one of those programs where he goes to jail and gets to meet Bubba who scares the crap out of him and steers him back to the straight and narrow. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/cheers.gif" alt="" />

I spent most of 4 years working with my daughter with similar problems. There is no one size fits all solution. If I were her, I'd DFACS the kid as uncontrolled, or boot him out of the house. A course in the juvie system should get his attention. I didn't go that route - I knew my daughter's mind too well for that, she is too much like me. It all turned out well, but it was hell for a while.

Cut off the kid's money, no food unless he works or fixes it himself, no clean clothes, no snacks, no luxuries of any kind. If this doesn't work, put his stuff on the porch and change the locks. If the kid is salvagable, this will get his attention.

Frank's idea is good, too, but look how Frank turned out. Works in a junk yard and he's in his 70's, or nearly...

Isn't this in California? The cops don't do anything about pot here... unless she happens to have a friend who is a cop who would be willing to show up in uniform and instill the fear of God in him. I have a friend who works for Alameda County and tells me they won't even cite for pot possession anymore.

Heck, I watched a woman beat the crap out of a prostitute at a truck stop, and the 911 operator wouldn't even take my name down. They totally didn't care.

Dang, Eddy - 3 more years until 70..... and after 35 years of manufacturing, selling and wearing suits, all I can say is I wish I had discovered the value of junk a long time ago.

Sometimes this business reminds me of a sign I saw in front of a country store in NC...... "We buy junk and sell antiques".

Fred Sanford was right all along and Lamont was just too stupid to understand the truth..... <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

Frank

I am a Juvenile PO and the mother needs to get the police involved. If she see pot, she needs to call the police. If he demonstrates any threatening behavior, she needs to call the police for domestic violence. If he is AWOL, she needs to call the police. She needs to establish a pattern for the courts. It's better that he learn these lessons as a minor, rather than an adult. If she establishes a pattern, the courts will take care of him.