I've just spent most of the last two weeks sitting with my aunt (age 94) who had a severe convulsion, probably due to the effects of some kind of encephalitis she contracted in Japan in 1969, and had suffered from for all the years since.

She had a living will, DNR, no artificial nourishment, no extraordinary measures. Her prefrontal cortex was toast. She could recognize names, and make some comments, incomplete and often nonsense, and had some recognition of me and her husband.

She had to starve to death for nourishment and liquids. It was not nice. She essentially drowned in the fluids in her lungs. She was not in pain or discomfort, due to diligent application of morphine sulfate given sublingually, but it was ugly, hard on her and harder on her husband and family.

I held her hand for most of those days, sang to her when she became agitated (this may have been torture to the aware, but it calmed her), and cried a lot, and I had lots of company in that.

There has to be a better way. For sure, get yourself a living will and think about your choices, and nominate at least one person in a durable power of attorney to supervise and authorize your medical care. These are available online and are quite easy. Look for a state specific form, and redo it if you move to another state.

There was just an interesting case in the GA supreme court. We had a statute that made it illegal to advertise assisted suicide. Note that assisted suicide is in itself legal in GA. The court threw out the statute as a violation of free speech....

Personally, I keep the means handy just in case, and have a friend who will "assist" me if necessary, and I him if it comes to that. KCl(IV) after a massive dose of valium is my method of choice.

You know, when my wife was facing Breast Cancer (she now fully recovered, thank God and the Doctors), she nominated me as her POA, and when faced with death, the important things become more lucid than ever. We decided if the prognosis was terminal, we were to just sail to the bahamas and I was to perform a burial at sea when the time came. I'm still shaken over the prospect, but it's what was desired.

I on the other hand want a Viking Funeral; flaming boat set to sail off into the sunset...

Sorry Eddy ...

My dad took his own life a few years ago .. Not wanting to indear the road your aunt has gone down ..God bless...

That's so difficult to hear. At least she's no longer suffering. My condolences & prayers go out to you and your family Eddy.

THe dead feel no more pain.

My 96yr old uncle is the one who needs your prayers. If you wanted to see the best married couple you will ever see, it's too late. He is and has always been a hero to me, and not just for what he and his buddies did on Guadalcanal. There is no better human than uncle Hugh in my sight. He is hale and hearty, and may have no reason left to live.

>>>*The end of life is something each and every one of us must face.

Loss of someone close is always painful, but take heart in knowing it very likely is not the end, rather a transition.

That is something I feel deeply, having faced it myself, and understanding there actually is something more than an eyeblink in time on this earth.

It's the only thing that makes any sense to me. I also do not agree with man's law that dictates we should fight for every breath until that end.

Peace and God Bless....*EB

I feel your pain from deep into my soul. My mom is currently in coma with a medical prognosis of vital signs that deterirate as the days go by.

For me the hardest part is been far away from home, well 3 hours max but the tickets can swell to over $600 and that x4 of us beocmes + over $700 a week for car rental is rather difficult.

Also having my Mom, Manuela, in that state is a punch to my stomach since she is such a vibrantly happy and full of life and love person. I have been so blessed to have such a woman in my life. She is the main reason why love is so important for me. She taught me that women are to be respected above all and most importantly loved above all.

Her leassons of life were full of love, caress and the needed tough love when the situation needed it. And boy it worked, it really worked. With three boys, my twin (Rolando A.) and I and my yourger sibling (Hugo).. she had her hands full but never full enough to give us more, to love us more...

She is a remarcably unbelievable woman. I now look at my daughter (Gabriela), and she is as brutally gorgeous as my wife (Blanca) and I can also see my Mom in her. She has her lips and that soft penetrating look in her eyes...

My Dad (Rolando Sr.) is the one having the most trouble coping with all this since he has been her companion for 44 years, It is hard to imagine..

Thanks for giving me the chance to share all this.

Javy

Thanks all. Javy, I know what you feel. Ted, I am glad you have the consolation of religion. I do not, and any afterlife I expect is just the fading echo of my contribution to the gene pool thru my children and their get, and to society by the results of my acts and what I have built and done.

A short history of 'rie and Hugh. They dated for 10 years. WW2 interrupted their romance, as Hugh would not marry her to leave a young widow. He came way too close to being right about that, on Guadalcanal, Pelelieu, and Iwo Jima, and assorted other island paradises that were only quite lethal, not real bad lethal. Then, after the war, he had a terrible time finding work, travelling all over the country chasing construction jobs, driving a dump truck for $.45/hr. He went to college to improve his chances, and married Marie just before. They lived in a converted barracks on campus, 4 couples in the same boat sharing a single bath down the hall. You could damn near touch two opposite walls in either room of their "apt" if you spread your arms. I visited them there around age 2.5, in the summer, and they were HOT little boxes - a/c was still for the rich. I remember only two families in my home town who had one, and they were water chiller tower evap units about the size of a large car set on end. Hugh graduated, and worked from 1954 until '81 for the Corps of Engineers as a QC engineer on civil projects, and as chief of the job in the later years. THey had no children, so I was their child, as were my cousins, but I was the first one.

They were married for 66 years, and if you wanted to observe one very fine marriage, you went to see Marie and Hugh. My uncle survived quad bypass at age 94. I messed up his golf game for a while, since he had to ride a cart instead of walking the course, but he walks it again now. I have seen him straight arm a 70lb anvil by the horn from arm down to overhead. At age 90. He feels like a hickory stump to this day. I stand in awe.

The world lost a real southern lady, a steel magnolia, and I am most proud to be of their family.

Javy, your mother will be in the arms of the angels, as will you and your father and family. May you find some comfort there...

Thanks again, my brothers and sisters.

Eddy

Your uncle and my father were at the same place in history at the same time. After routing the Japanese at Anguar, my father's tanks (8th Armored, attached to 81st Infantry) were loaded on the boats and made the 8 mile passage to augment the 1st Marine Div. on Peleliu. Chesty Puller had already gotten over half his men killed and it was one of the few times the Army got to save the Marines. Called "The Forgotten Battle", it was one of the toughest of WWII..... one my father never talked much about - except the humorous parts.

Bloody Nose Ridge will live in infamy - and not just for the Marines. Too bad my father couldn't have met your uncle..... I expect the survivors of that one shared a special bond.

Frank

My uncle will talk about Iwo, a little about BLoody Ridge on Guadalcanal, but will not talk about Peleliu. I think that tells the tale.

Here's to the greatest generation. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/cheers.gif" alt="" />