You know the honeymoon is over, when the comedians start.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree...and think 25 to life would beáappropriate.á
--Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like NancyáPelosi needs a Halloween mask.á
--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's'ánew Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind youáhas to pay for it.á
--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama callálunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.á
--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference betweenáObama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers,áand threats to society. The other is for housingáprisoners.á
--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama wereáon a boat in the middle of the ocean and itástarted to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !á
-- Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference betweenáObama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.á
-- Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive resultáof the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumperástickers off the road.á
--David Letterman

Solution to the problem in Egypt :
They want a new Muslim leader, Give them ours.

Farmer #1 is plowing a field when his mule dies suddenly. He gives his son some money to purchase another mule from the neighboring farm. Son goes to visit Farmer #2 immediately.

Farmer #2 says, yeah...have a mule for sale, plows straight lines and works as hard as the day is long. Son asks to see the mule and says...whew, so ugly! Farmer #2 says...yeah, mule don't look so good.

Son returns home with the new, ugly mule.

Farmer #1 hitches up the new mule and completes the line he was plowing. The mule plows right into the fence!

Farmer #1 complains to Son...take this defective mule back, right now!

Son returns with mule to Farmer #2, relays the story.

Farmer #2 says...told ya' it doesn't look so good.

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Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon .. every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees



Ees a ham bush...."



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A man of the cloth gets tempted by the ole' debbil, and calls in sick Sunday morning, and sneaks out to the golf course.

God and a rookie angel are watching him on the omnisiscope.

On the first hole, the preacher hits a 3 wood scend shot into the hole for an eagle 2.

On the second hole, a par 3, he gets a hole in one.

On the third hole, a par 5, he hits his drive into the center of the green, 425yds out.

The rookie angel says, "God, why are you rewarding him for his sin of lying?"

God looks at he rookie and says "You underestimate me. Who can he ever tell about it?"

A little guy is on an elevator. A HUGE guy gets on at the next floor and stands next to the little guy. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The small guy faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him. When the little guy finally comes around, the big guy asks him, "What's wrong with you?"

In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude said, "I saw a curious look on your face and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Thank God!! I thought you said, "Turn around".