Did you see the 02 from the inside? The 3rd row folds flat into the floor. Maybe you just didn't see it.

If I went Gen III, I'd start at 03 and get the 3.8L with its smooth 5-spd AT. Make a run up my way and you can take ours for a spin. I have to admit, it is a damn nice ride.

However, you will pay an upcharge for the Gen III that maybe isn't "right" for your situation. I got my 00 with 85k for $6200. A Gen II for that price will have twice the miles. Then there are the plastic bumpers. The wife tapped a car backing up and did what was minimal real damage to her rear, though it did break the cover. Cost to reapir was just over $1k. A Gen II would have a scuff in the end cap, maybe needing replacement. The rest would have been unscathed.

Lastly, how many kids are you still hauling these days? Then Gen III 3rd row seats are at least 4" narrower. Personally, I'd rather they folded up and were wider like the Gen IIs.