SCALLYWAGS AND LANDLUBBERS! DROP YOUR POOP DECKS AND MAKE READY THE YARD ARMS OR WHATEVER! TIGHTEN YOUR CORSETS AND PREPARE YOUR HEROIN PIPES! SHAKE YOUR JENKEM JARS AND PUT A FRESH SCENTED OIL SATCHET IN YOUR GLADE PLUG-INS!

ARE YOU READY FOR ALL THIS? CAN YOU HANDLE THE FAME THAT AWAITS YOU WHEN YOU RETURN TRIUMPHANT FROM THE SUPERSTITION MOUNTAINS, ENCRUSTED WITH AUTHENTIC CAMPING GRIT AND BURSTING WITH THE GLORY OF CONQUEST HAVING SLEPT AT LEAST ONE, MAYBE TWO NIGHTS AWAY FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR BED AND NAPPIE?! NO?! WELL THAT'S COOL I GUESS.

BUT FOR EVERYONE ELSE, LET IT BE KNOWN FAR AND WIDE THAT WE WILL CONQUER THE ELEVATION OF A MILE, THE TEMPERATURE OF LOW 40'S AT NIGHT AND HIGH 70S IN THE DAY! WE WILL GLEAM THE CUBE AND DRINK COCOA AND/OR BEER AND/OR [color:"green"]MONSTER ENERGY JUICE SAUCE[/color] AND IT WILL BE THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF MANKIND*

THERE MAY BE A THING TO SHOOT HAND CANNONS AT! BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE A GROWN UP ABOUT CANNON FIRING! SOMEONE MIGHT BRING YOUNG'NS WHICH MEANS EXTRA SUPER SERIOUS BEING GROWN-UPS ABOUT STUFF!

LET ALL YE BE KNOWN THAT ROAD CONDITIONS AND SEA SWELLS WILL BE PRETTY CHILL AND SCIONS OR HYUNDAIS ARE PROBABLY OK UP THE FRONT ROAD IF CAPTAINED WITH CAUTION! OPTIONAL REAR ROAD EXIT THING IS BEEFCAKE TIRES AND DECENT GROUND CLEARANCE ONLY!! SPARE TIRE AND JACK TO CHANGE IT ARE ENCOURAGED! BURRITOS ARE THE PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT! FEAR THE BRIMLEY!







* totally won't actually be the greatest accomplishment of mankind