Walking up towards Blood Mountain on the AT to the branch off to the camping area in the dark. Sound of clumsy elephant coming downtrail. 300+lb Bubba comes into headlamp view, mumbling to himself and eating peach halves from a gallon can with a carving fork. You can smell him before you see him, and wish you could do neither. He's gumming the peaches down because his teeth are sticking out of the bib pocket of his overhauls beside the neck of a bottle with a tax stamp still on it. Hat says "I Like It RAW"...

He wants us to "foller me back up da hill and help my big brother who's skeered of the dark"...

Handed him my minimaglight and declined further assistance. Afraid I'd become a midnight snack. Told him he'd never find us in the dark and just keep the light...

And I won't ride in a canoe with a guy with a guitar OR a bow and arrow. And I can show you some of the spots where they filmed Ned and Jon and Burt and Ronnie, and some of the banjo player's kin in Lakemont or Tiger. Did you know the banjo player had an idiot brother???