'TÆwas the night before Christmas' (An Isuzu-inspired adaptation <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/kewl.gif" alt="" /> )

TÆwas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not one thing was stirring
Save a keyboard and a mouse.

The vehicles were garaged,
Put-up with careà
Even the family Isuzu
With the full-sized spare.

The husband was nestled
All snug in his bed,
While visions of rock-crawling
Danced in his head;

And mamma in her nightie,
And a fur-ball-topped cap,
Was searching through web sites
For a new winter's tow-strap.

When out on the lawn
There arose such a din,
She leapt from her chair
Upon hearing this revving engineà

Away to the window,
She threw up the sash,
And did it so quickly,
She risked giving a flash.

She looked in the yard
Amid new-fallen snow,
For the source of the hullabaloo;
That riotous thing lurking belowà

She thought, æWhat could it be?Æ
When to her eyes did appear,
A trail-built Isuzu,
Fully decked-out with gearà

With a little old driver,
Sporting a beard, white and thick,
She knew in a moment
That it must be St. Nick!

More rapid than lightning
His coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted,
As he called them by name;

"Now, Darlington! - Now, Detroit!
Now, StinkyFab and Independent4x!
On, ARB! - On Sway-A-Way!
On, MT/R, and good-old Terra Flex!

To the side of the house!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! - Dash away!
Dash away all!"

Like grains of sand
In a hurricane dost fly,
There appeared not one obstacle,
This `Zu would not tryà

So straight up to the house-top
In 4-low, it flew,
Pulling a trailer of goodies,
And St. Nicholas too.

And then, in an instant,
Way up on the dormerÆs shed-roof,
Was the clawing and pawing
Of each little cleated tread-hoof.

The Missus grabbed her robe,
And rushed downstairs to see,
Just as St. Nicholas shot out of the chimney,
And knocked-down the treeà

He was dressed all in fur,
From his head to his foot,
But his suit was covered
With ashes and soot,

And what he said then
Deserves quite a æBleepÆ,
ôGeeez, have you people ever heard
Of a ******** chimney sweep?ö

Then regaining composure,
He flung from his back,
The weight-latten girth
Of his well-traveled rucksack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled!
His nose like a cherry!
His cheeks were all flushed,
Like heÆd had too much Sherry!

He was chubby and plump,
A right jolly old elf,
And she laughed when she saw him,
In spite of herself;

And amid all this laughter,
That raised such a riot,
She couldnÆt help thinking
That Santa should go on a dietà

As if reading her mind,
He gave a twist of his head,
Shook his finger at her,
But nothing was said;

He spoke not a word,
But went straight to his work,
Splaying off-road accessories;
And then turned with a jerkà

Then laying his finger
Upon the side of his nose,
With a wink and a nod,
Up the chimney he rose;

He sprang back to his `Zu,
And its engine did start,
And away he then sprang,
Like he was racing in CART.

Clawing off of the roof,
And into the air did he bound,
Making a great, thunderous clamor
As he returned to the groundà

His custom-siped Good~Years
Cut groves in the snow,
And he did a big doughnut
Just to put on a showà

He then pointed his rig
At a large pile of rocks,
And articulated quite nicely
With only a couple of knocksà

All of this racket
Awoke the whole block;
Everyone rushed to their windows
To see Santa posed on a big rockà

He then unlocked his front dif,
And began spinning the tires,
Raising rooster-tails of snow,
Like giant, white, holiday spiresà

We then each heard him exclaim,
Before he drove out of town,
"A very Merry Off-Road Christmas to allà
Keep yer shiny sides up, and yer greasy sides down!"

Friends, may you and your families each have a wonderful Holiday!

Cheers! <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/cheers.gif" alt="" />
Smiley

Six Isuzus, so far... still have three of them.