I may have found a suitable quiet type relay that can be bought in small quantities. They have a thirty dollar minumum order.

It's the NAIS/Aromat CQ1-12V relay.
Cut sheet: http://www.fcai.fujitsu.com/pdf/FTR-P1.pdf

It looks like it will fit ok the pin spacing is a bit off but I figure it's close enough.

Here is the source: online components

I hope this helps some out,

Joe

A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

98 Passport 33's, Supercharged, Calmini Bumper, rockbars, diff drops, Teralows, 4.77's, Aussie and ARB lockers, Safari snorkel, Optima red top.