Your criteria for a tire sound identical to my own.

I narrowed my search down to 4 great tires.

1. BFG All-Terain TA
2. BFG Long Trail TA
3. Bridgestone Dueler AT
4. Bridgestone Dueler AT Revo

I went with the Dueler AT Revo for the following reasons.

BFG All-Terain TA: Great tire but noisy (relatively speaking) and if not rotated religiously will wear goofy.

Long Trail TA: Great tire but give up a little too much off-road.

Dueler AT: Great tire but the Revo was quieter

I think that the Revo's give up a little off road (not much IMHO) vs. the BFG AT. They wear very well and are very quiet for an AT tire. They are also very smooth and will handle as much load as your Toyota will haul.

My dad bought some BFG AT's at the same time I bought my Revo's. The Revo's have held up better and are significantly quieter. They will also do everything that the BFG's have done off road.