I ain't laughing, I promise... but I like the donuts. You'll really like how easy it is to fab for them, as well, and if you build your bracket low, you can adjust to where you want with washers/shims... and my drivetrain moves very little rotationally (which is good, considering how little space I have between a few key parts). FWIW, you might just order a set of extra bushings from FROR -- that would match all your drivetrain bushings (something I have thought about but not yet done). Dunno if that matters, actually, but it makes sense, y'know?
FWIW, I like the long gusset idea, for stiffness. That's how FROR sets up the ful crossmember version. I agree with what you are saying about the force vectors, but IMHO, you can't have a crossmember too stiff.
As for your crossmember, 1x4 stock is easiest to find in the 1x2 section... just get two and add a little MIG. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> If possible, though, I recommend a vertical alighment of the larger section width, as crossmembers take a pretty good beating in the rocks, and this allows better resistance to bending (vertical displacement).
I'm a fan of removable crossmembers, but they definitely require more work. If you go this route, have the crossmember flush up to the bottom of the frame rail to take the big hits and just use the fasteners to hold it in place. I ran a crossmember full-width across and under the frame and wrapped its ends up around the outside of the frame -- which is where I attached it with bolts. Worked well.
Randii