One more thing I was thinking about and someone with access to a parts book can check this out. You have a 2002 SR5. I found the suspension on my new 2002 Limited to be quite comfortable and less harsh than my '99 Limited. Maybe ... the suspension on the SR5 is set up stiffer than that of the Limited and you can start swapping components???

Otherwise, maybe you should consider a Highlander that is built on the Camry chassis instead of a 4Runner which _is_ a TRUCK!
Peter