Take a breath sit back a bit....

You two spent a lot of time together and there appears to be a couple of kids involved.

Most dysfunctional relationships are based on both people being dysfunctional, its why you hooked up. IMHO all relationships are dysfunctional to some level <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

Its possible for the both of you to learn and be better at relationships. Its not easy but it can be done, the payback is obvious.

Talk about doing some couples counseling.. even if you two are split up.

Possible outcomes include one person growing away from the more dysfunctional person as they discover and deal with their own issues. A good outcome is you learn enough about each other and yourself to remain together and happy.

Even if you cant salvage this one what you learn will help you in your next one.

Most issues come back to your own family and backround and what you bring into your relationship with your wife (same for her). A good counseler can challenge you and help you understand yourself and how you relate to others.

That understanding leads to making better decisions that leads to being happy.

Kevin