omg awesome i just lmao at work...

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on cup size.

This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always
complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them...

I can finally support an Apple product.

BTW, I am going to steal this joke!

Well that's good because they need support. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/oink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/evil.gif" alt="" />

This is hilarious but could be in the political realm. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/cheers.gif" alt="" />

My first thought was the vaccuum should have been called the iSuck

<img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife planning to fly down the next day.

The husband checked into the hotel in Florida. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife back in Minnesota. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing the error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston,Texas, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called to Glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: MY BELOVED WIFE
Subject: I'VE ARRIVED
Date: JULY 24, 2006

I KNOW YOU'RE SURPRISED TO HEAR FROM ME. I'VE JUST ARRIVED AND HAVE BEEN CHECKED IN. THEY HAVE COMPUTERS HERE NOW AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SEND E-MAILS TO YOUR LOVED ONES. I'LL SEE TO IT THAT EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THEN. HOPE YOUR JOURNEY IS AS UNEVENTFUL AS MINE WAS.

P.S. IT'S FREAKING HOT DOWN HERE!

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You are going to die. But we feel sorry for you, so we will give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of the third day, you die. What is your first wish?"

The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse."

The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde.

She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."

The second day, the chief says, "What is your wish today?"

The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."

The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy.

The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die and can only think of one thing."

The last day comes, and the chief says, "This is your last wish, white man. What you want?"

The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"

Less of a joke than it is a true statement. Another one from the wife.

Women don't want to hear what you think.
They want to hear what they think in a deeper voice!