<img src="/forums/images/graemlins/zombie.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was
taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a
bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant -- an Air Force guy,"
admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to
tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms
have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning, the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and
bushy tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better."

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?"

"Nope. I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the
sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the
cheek, and said, 'Goodnight beautiful,'...And he sat up all night
watching me."


Carlos

A salmon swims along in the river, he notices a fly..."says to himself when that fly drops im gonna grap it and eat it,"

At the same time a bear wading in the river notices the fish and the fly and says to himself "when that fly drops the fish will surface and grap it and ill get the fish,"

Hunter nearby sees whats going on and says to himself "when that fly drops the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish and ill shoot that bear,"

The hunter is eating a piece of cheese at the time and a mouse has been eyeballing it for hours, he says to himself "when that fly drops the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese and ill grap it,"

A cat watching to mouse says to himself, and the fly and says to himself when that fly drops the fish will surface and grap it and ill get the fish,

Hunter nearby sees whats going on and says when that fly drops the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish and ill shoot that bear,

The hunter is eating a piece of cheese at the time and a mouse has been eyeballing it for hours, he says to himself "when that fly drops the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese, then ill grap the mouse"

And so the fly drops, the fish gets the fly, bear graps the fish, hunter shoots the bear, drops his cheese, mouse gets the cheese and the cat misses the mouse and lands in the river...

moral of the story....

when the fly drops the um...."cat" gets wet...

GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for
him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you
would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee and
a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, ôYou must be single.ö

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelictÆs intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said ôWell, you know what, youÆre absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?ö

The drunk replied,















ôCause youÆre ugly.ö

Siamese twin brother and sister move to London.
Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The sister wanted to drive!

<img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

Just following the rules of the post! <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" />

From the Simpsons:

"I didn't lie, my mouth was making fiction!" - Homer

<img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/lol.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/kewl.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/patriot.gif" alt="" />

I used this one on a buddy earlier today.


What do you call a Dodge on a trail?

A tow truck <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />