Thanks Adam,

I originally had it the way you mentioned but with the washer on the other side there was a noticeable gap where the body of the damper assembly was not mating against the relay rod, so I figured the washer was what filled the gap. Perhaps I need to pound on the damper a bit to get the stud to go deeper into the relay rod hole, but there is currently enough thread sticking out the other side to get the castle nut and cotter pin on, and I figured torquing to 40 ft-lbs would have pressed it in.